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By that, I mean meeting a romantic partner.
That special person, 'The One' (actually I don't believe anymore there is just one person, our soulmate, life partner)
Prior to the Internet, we would go out and socialise, to pubs, clubs, parties, and weddings. Or one of our friends would introduce us to someone they thought we might like. In other cultures, there would be arranged marriages, and there still are.
It all started with getting to know each other, spending time together, socialising with friends as well. It may have been around shared interests, hobbies. It wasn't just about chemistry, which does play a part, which is important for some, but not all.
Some people choose a partner because it gives them security or a certain lifestyle.
but since the Internet, things have changed, and certainly since the pandemic. initially chat rooms, and as things have progressed, dating apps.
dating has been reduced to, swipe left swipe right, whether you like the look of someone, or what they have written on their profile, true or otherwise.
Relationships have become much more about the physical side, but once those pheromones stop working, the real relationship starts, and cracks may begin to appear as the shutters come down and each person sees more of the real person.
Each person brings their own baggage from previous relationships even going back to childhood, and the relationship with their caregivers.
We don’t get a manual on ‘How to Do Relationships 101’.
We base them on what we saw as children and not always the best role models. I’m not pointing the finger of blame on anyone here. Just noticing the influences we received.
We may place unrealistic expectations of the other person, who probably can't meet all of those needs. Together with past patterns which are unconsciously played out, we are hoping that the other person in this relationship will heal our wounds.
If you base your relationship on physical or sexual attraction alone, it's much harder to have a strong foundation to be able to weather the storms through the tough times.
PODCAST NEWS
The Love~Listen~Talk~Repeat Podcast with Wendy Capewell
#139 - Online Dating With a Difference - With Dennie Smith
Dennie Smith describes herself as a passionate, determined, and crazy lady. She is currently running 2 businesses, a hair salon, and a geek networking app. This is set to change the way people connect with each other. A very different and welcome alternative to Apps, such as Tinder.
WHAT WE TALK ABOUT
I met Dennie on Linkedin, and soon discovered what a vibrant woman she is. She shies away from nothing, and if a project doesn’t seem to be working, she picks herself up, dusts herself off, and moves on.
Online dating is a minefield, and large dating sites aren’t as rigorous as Dennie in verifying applicants. So she decided to open her own. But with a difference, instead of focusing on ‘dating’ it’s a platform where people can connect related to their hobbies, special interests or passions. So, she created ‘ Geek Meet CLub ‘. Why not check it out. You can follow on Social Media, or join for free here.