Saying ‘No’ seems to evoke all kinds of feelings within us. And it can depend on who it is saying no and the situation.
· Whether it’s being turned down for a job offer or promotion.
· An Invitation to an event, whether a friend refuses an invitation to your event, or you aren’t invited to theirs.
· The item you want really want to purchase is out of stock.
· A suggestion to your partner, whether it’s to go out to dinner, or an invitation to have sex.
Feelings that are evoked can range from disappointment, not feeling good enough, feeling let down, to rejection. It can feel hard, and depending on your earlier experiences, your emotional responses can feel out of perspective to the actual situation.
We all have to accept that we are going to receive negative responses to situations. It’s how you handle them that is really important, not only to your self-esteem and self-worth but also when it affects your relationships.
If you are turned down for a job, ask them for feedback. It may help you in future job applications.
When it comes to social invitations, is your friend close enough that you can have an honest conversation with them? Expressing your disappointment without it being in an aggressive, confrontational way? If not, then ask yourself why you are so upset by it, and let it go.
When it comes to situations with your partner, you aren’t always going to like the same things at the same time or be in the mood. Whether an event or sex.
Those are the most important open conversations to have. Because it’s far too easy to assume that YOU are being rejected – rather than the invitation. If you are the one turning down the invitation, offering a reason or an alternative can soften the blow.
One of the hardest conversations people seem to have is about sex, and it’s something my colleague Mel Riley also notices too.
So, we’ve made another video – and it’s all about sex.
Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!
In this episode, we talk about why couples don’t talk about sex, why sex and intimacy often die in relationships. and the dynamics that are required to retain an erotic space in your relationship.
You can watch it here
Warning! The F word’s pretty present in this one!
If you choose to watch it,let’s hope it opens up some conversations for you.
I'm always happy to have a chat if you would like to find out how I may be able to help you. Just email me, or arrange a free call.