Johnny Depp is probably most recognisable for his portrayal of his character of Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
However, one of the things that was very much in the public domain over the past few weeks has been the Depp/Heard trial. I don't think you could escape it really as references and clips were all over the news and social media. Any trial is difficult for those involved, but this one was even more so, as it was televised for all the world to witness the most personal details of their relationship.
The relationship seemed to be both toxic and abusive. One of the things that made an impact on me was that, If a woman was accused by her partner of being a baby because he claimed he hit or slapped her, but didn't punch or 'deck' her. There would be a public outcry. Most people would be horrified by those comments and the fact that a man had physically attacked a woman.
But in the Johnny Depp /Amber Heard trial the jury, and in fact, the world, heard a recording of Amber Heard saying that to Johnny Depp.
Society, in general, is sympathetic towards women who are affected by domestic abuse, and there are many refuges and support groups for women, but less so for men.
I think it's hard for anyone in a relationship to admit that abuse is present. I know from my own past experience the feelings of embarrassment and shame I felt that my partner was emotionally abusive towards me, and I didn't tell anyone. And I know I'm not alone in that.
For a man, I imagine it's even more humiliating, and I have witnessed bullying language being used by a woman towards her partner, which has brought him to tears. I could see him visibly shrinking in front of me as she put him down.
Verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse is unacceptable by or to anyone else. Irrespective of gender.
Too often I hear both men and women complaining that men should 'MAN UP'. But then their women folk complain that they don't show their feminine side, and in the very next breath mock a guy who cries or acts like a 'baby' .
So, I would ask that you stop and consider - are the rules different for men and women? And is that ok?
The Love~Listen~Talk~Repeat podcast with Wendy Capewell
#127 - Why we get into Toxic Relationships and Narcissistic Abuse- Chelli Pumphrey
Chelli is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship expert, and the author of Insight is 20/20: How To Trust Yourself To Protect Yourself From Narcissistic Abuse & Toxic Relationships (publishing May 2022).
WHAT WE TALK ABOUT
Why it’s so easy to get sucked into a toxic, abusive relationship
That charming person you fall in love with could be a narcissist, a sociopath, or even a psychopath, or they might just have traits and not even be fully diagnosable.
They can appear to be very seductive and charming and superficial at the beginning when everything seems wonderful. You think you've met prince charming and all of a sudden you realise, you know, later on down the road, I always like to say, it's not prince charming. It's prince harming or prince is harming that you've fallen in love with. as you realise, you're being controlled, you're being manipulated, you're being gas lit……..
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