This time of year can feel quite gloomy, and some people find it really hard to cope with the dark, cold days.
Many of you may have made New Year, and the Resolutions that often include eating more healthily, getting fit, giving up alcohol, stopping smoking, or some other habit you feel you should relinquish, how about you stop for a moment.
Take a Moment to Pause
I found this quote the other day, and it really resonated with me. So often we react to something someone has said, or to a situation, and many times we receive a negative outcome because of that.
It can affect so many areas of our lives without us even realising
Pause before judging
It's so easy to judge another, in the way they dress, act, speak, or what they say.
As a society, people are judged if they are overweight. However, we have no idea whether they have a medical condition, or if food is support for issues that are going on in their lives. Maybe it's their 'Go-To', to give them comfort when they are struggling.
Many have those, habits that support us, some more healthy than others.
Pause before assuming
It's so easy to make assumptions, but often we don't have all the relevant information. Rather than making assumptions, it's worth checking with the other person as to your understanding. They may well offer more information that will change your perception of the situation. There is nothing wrong with checking with someone whether you have understood what they meant.
Pause before accusing
By acting on assumptions, it can be easily lead to making accusations. So, again, check your understanding, and that you have all the relevant information before making accusations. We each have our own perception of a situation or event. That's the reason the police will ask for several witnesses to come forward to an incident. Because each witness will have seen something different.
Pause whenever you're about to react harshly
It's always worth taking a breath before you react. Try not to react in the heat of the moment. It's worth taking a step back - time out - if you think you may react harshly.
So many arguments could be avoided, so many misunderstandings could be resolved, so much pain and upset avoided if we only learn to PAUSE more often.
The Love~Listen~Talk~eEpeat Podcast with Wendy Capewell - https://love-listen-talk-repeat.libsyn.com/
#115 - Cheri Timko, Small habits that keep the spark alive in your relationship
ABOUT CHERI TIMKO
Cheri Timko is a Couples Relationship Coach, a couples
relationship coach, who has been doing
psychotherapy with couples for the last 20 years, She has recently added a new
way of working with couples. She wanted to take that expertise
out of the therapy room, and really bring that to a much broader audience, where people can access that and learn the things.
Cheri discovered there are three systems that need to function in a couple's relationship. Firstly, good relationship habits, then a way of working through problems, and finally a way to clean up the messes when they happen. Every couple creates messes, lets each other down. So they need a way of making repairs. Listen to the podcast to learn more about these systems……