While many look forward to Christmas, there are many who don't. For some, it may be for religious reasons, or for whatever other reasons, they don't enjoy it.
t seems that the shops have been filled with Christmassy food, gifts, and decorations since the end of Summer - well almost, And by New Year’s Day everyone will be sick of the decorations, the tree has shed its pines everywhere, and no one can move for the new presents littering every floor in the house. Let alone all the leftover food rammed into the fridge, freezer, and cupboard! And you just wish for something other than what is there.
When I was young, Christmas started on Christmas Eve, and lasted until Twelfth Night, 6 January, which happens to be my birthday. But it seems to have shifted without me noticing……
there is so much pressure and stress that seems to surround the build-up to it, and I wonder how you feel by the time Christmas finally arrives.
So, I would urge you to try and reduce as much stress as possible and do take some time out for yourself during the holiday period.
Whether you go for a walk, disappear for a while and take yourself away from everyone, soak in the bath, have a nap or just put your feet up and let others take some of the strain. But do try to find some ‘me’ time.
Otherwise, you will be far too exhausted, fed up, and stressed, to actually enjoy the time with family and friends.
Just a little reminder, it’s ok to say ‘No’ . You don’t have to accept every invitation, and you can leave when you have had enough.
I know it can be hard if you have family and children.
I’m also aware that some people may be dreading it, as it can be a time when memories are evoked, and not all of them good ones. There are also families that are no longer together, and juggling time for the children to spend time with each of their parents can e really hard. There are also those children who don’t get that choice. My heart goes out to all those involved, as it can be so very tough.
Perhaps this is a time to check in with your friends, and family as to how they are feeling about it. Whether they want to celebrate it, or whether they want to spend the time in a different way.
And, it's perfectly ok if you don't want to accept invitations or to justify why you don't want to.
# 140 - Living in a Narcissistic Family System - With Nisanka
Nisanka Wickramarachchi helps parents who co-parent with narcissistic partners or exes to support their children consistently whilst preserving their sanity.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT
Nisanka starts by telling us her story of growing up in Sri Lanka in a family where despite her parents providing a roof over her head, food and all the practical things, But she lacked love and support. Continually told she was ungrateful when she tried to speak up.
She found it hard to understand that others outside of her immediate family were treated more kindly than she was.
This set up the ‘familiar’ pattern of believing that emotional abuse and narcissistic behaviour were normal. She found the courage to leave her partner with her daughter and a new life helping parents to co-parent with narcissistic partners.
I hope you all have a Happy Christmas and I will see you all in the New Year,