Change can feel scary and at times unachievable and I get it. It is difficult, but it's not impossible
I am told so many times by clients that they can't change. They claim they are too old, don't know how, or that they are set in their ways. To which I ask whether they are saying they can't change or don't want to change.
As humans we are resistant to change, it's easier to follow the same habits. Not only does it feel safe, and familiar, but we don't have to think too hard. Often we just go on auto-pilot. We get up, usually, at the same time, shower, have breakfast (or not), walk the dog if you have one, go to work, usually taking the same route, carry out your work, which is often peppered with repetitive elements, come home, have dinner, go to bed. With a few other things added into our days.
And there is nothing wrong with having routines in our lives.
These habits and routines are familiar, and even when you are unhappy in a part of your life, it often seems easier to put up with situations than move out of your comfort zone. That can be staying in a job you really hate. Staying in a relationship in which you are really unhappy. Or, it could be that you are resigned to being treated by others in a way that is disrespectful. Not valued, respected, or feeling misunderstood. It's familiar even when you may not like it, and changing things can feel scary.
WE RESPOND TO CHANGE EVERY DAY
Imagine you are driving to work on your usual route. But then you are faced with a ' Road Ahead Closed ' sign.
You have choices.
* Sit and wait, to see if the road will reopen
* Find another route
By sitting and waiting you have no idea when the road will reopen . It could be a few minutes, a few hours, days or even months.
So the chances are you will turn around and find a different way to your destination. It may take longer, and it could well be unfamiliar, and unsettling. But you do it!
That's the same when making changes to your habits, or behaviours.
But it's possible. As uncomfortable as it may feel, it's better than sitting at that road sign, being stuck.
Just as we may find a different physical route, so our brain can adapt to new and unfamiliar routes (neural pathways) in fact we have to use our brain to find that different route when we are faced with a road closure.
Ir's usually much easier, less uncomfortable, and far more attainable and sustainable to take small steps towards making changes, and you may come across a few road bumps along the way.
If you would like to learn more or need some help, get in touch, and lets have a chat - https://live.vcita.com/site/wendycapewell/online-scheduling?service=xswb7wemkadz1g23
The Love ~ Listen ~ Talk ~Repeat Podcast- with Wendy Capewell
#116 - Unrealistic expectations on ourselves and our relationships - - with Wendy Capewell
Usually, I am the host of this podcast, but this episode is about thoughts I have had as we start 2020. Instead of interviewing a guest, I am offering my thoughts and perspectives, on life, the way we are in the world, as well as in our relationships.
The things I will be talking about are whether you have made New Year Resolutions, and what happens if you don’t keep to them?
Unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves and on our partners and relationships,
The effect of social media and advertising on our sense of satisfaction
Comparison is damaging
I ask - What is perfection?
I also suggest that it’s more helpful to focus on the positives that our partner brings to our relationship, rather than the negatives.
You can listen to the podcast on any of the usual platforms -or you can listen to it here - https://love-listen-talk-repeat.libsyn.com/