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It’s actually a myth, but they certainly don’t talk in the same way that women communicate.

They certainly find it more difficult to ask for help, and they aren’t able to access or articulate their feelings as readily as women. This is a lot to do with their conditioning.

As children, boys are told not to cry, to stop being a baby – A woos - A girl.

Their female partner understandably gets frustrated. Complaining he won’t open up, he never shares his feelings, and he just gets angry.

As a result, the chasm between the couple gets wider and deeper, as they find it difficult to find a way to communicate.

As a female therapist, I am always striving to understand men better, as well as helping and supporting couples to reconnect. often it’s because they are effectively speaking a different language from each other. Each is not only unable to be heard, but they are unable to hear what the other is conveying.

Their relationship becomes a battleground.

Once couples are more able to listen to each other - putting aside their weapons, and removing their armour, they are more likely to be able to work together to resolve the issues that are creating problems in their relationship - and to be realistic, there are times when this may be to part.

My podcast guest is James Hawes, who has written a book called -

The Secret Lives of Men

After my chat with him, I bought the book, and now I can’t put it down. I keep nodding my head as I read it! It makes so much sense.

I think everyone. men and women would benefit from reading this book.

It's widely available on Amazon -


#144 - Helping us all to understand men, and create better communication - James Hawes

James Hawes is based in Nottingham, UK and lives with his wife, sons and dog. He is also an author, psychotherapist, trainer and supervisor. He works in private practice (Synergy Counselling) and in schools.


  • James talked about the men who seek his help and support, and the kind of issues they bring to him.

  • Why men find it harder to talk and ask for help

  • How things have changed over the decades and how women have changed in their roles and their attitudes, becoming more empowered, and that men have found those charges difficult.

  • We discuss Anger, which is often seen as a ‘bad emotion’


It's All About Attachment!

Hello. We are Mel and Wendy, Welcome, and thanks for dropping by.

What are Attachments? We hear those words used often, but it can feel quite confusing. So in this episode we try to demystify it and give examples of our own attachment styles, how they developed in our childhood and how they have affected our adult relationships. As well as sharing experiences from our Therapy Room. The Attachment styles are - Secure, Avoidant, Anxious, Disorganized, and Ambivalent, but as Mel suggests we move from one to another. We would love you to listen in and learn more.

You can watch the video here


Please don’t suffer alone, I’m always here if you want to chat, or to find our how I can help you. Whether it’s problem that you don’t seem to resolve, relationship issues, or issues from your childhood that are continuiong to cause you distress.

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