Have you ever been asked why you do something a particular way? It may be a simple task, that you don't give a second thought about. Whether it's how you hold a pen, make your bed, the words and phrases you unconsciously use.
Our bodies are remarkable. We do so many things without a second thought. We walk, talk, eat, breathe without even thinking about how we do it. Every one of those actions is automatic because they are stored in our brains. So, is it any wonder that we respond instinctively to situations.
It's the way we have learned to survive in the world. But there are times when these behaviours create problems because we get stuck in the past.
You are prone to nostalgia
As lovely as it is to remember happy times, and fond memories. The problem is when you find yourself reliving them over and over again to the point that you get stuck there, and you can't be in the present. Maybe the present is too scary to connect with, ask yourself why that may be.
Unresolved trauma from the past is haunting you
A trauma doesn’t have to be a huge event, such as being in a war zone. Bullying, being hospitalised, surgery, sexual, physical, emotional abuse, the death of someone close to you, parents divorcing, your own divorce………….the list is never-ending.
The magnitude of the event isn’t the issue, it’s the effect it has on the person who experienced it. The thing is that you can’t compare your response to anyone else’s. However much you feel you have put those ghosts to bed, they can continue to affect you at times. Simply because they may be hard-wired into our being. As we have muscle memory, so we also store emotional memories in our brain and our cells. Because of the mind/body connection, I am a strong believer that unhealed trauma held within our body can lead to physical dis-ease. Too often we bury our feelings and reminders of those events. But unless dealt with they are likely to affect you at the most unexpected times.
You find it difficult to let go of past conflict
Many of us have experienced conflict in childhood, whether with parents siblings. other family members. Or perhaps you were bullied as a child, and although you may think you have got over it, it gets played over in your mind and can affect the way you see the world - as well as how you think others see you.
You find it difficult to let go
You find it difficult to let of things from the past, perhaps you hold onto greetings cards, letters, photos, childhood toys. You find it exceptionally hard when a friend moves away, or you lose contact with them. You stay in touch with your ex. These can lead you to feel that the past was much better than now, unable to enjoy the present and make new memories.
You have the ‘life used to be better’ mindset
This tends to be something older people say, in the belief (often mistaken) that life was much better way back then. They think that people were much kinder then, and that life was much better generally, instead of being grateful for the things they have in their life now. And enjoying the moment,
So, How Do You Break These Habits?
If you recognise any of these, and they are affecting your life, first of all, stop and really think about them,and how much they may be affecting your life.
If you are holding onto past conflict, and you don't feel able to talk to those involved, writing it down in the form of a letter - which you don't actually send, can be a great way of expressing the pain and hurt you felt, and maybe still do. The only person it is harming by holding onto them - is you.
I have come to realise over the years that people come into our lives - For a Reason - A Season - For Life.
So, time to make new friends and create new memories. It doesn't negate the old happy memories, but staying in the past, really does leave us being stuck. Stuck in our Comfort Zone, too uncomfortable to try new things. But that can e really unhealthy, and unfullfilling.
Don't allow things from the past to consume you. If you find they are, seek some help. Working things through with a Counsellor can be really healing,
If you would like to chat then contact me – firstname.lastname@example.org
Love ~ Listen ~ Talk ~ Repeat podcast.
#107 - How Emotions are Stored in our Body with Sunayana Clark
Sunayana believes that in treating someone who is suffering from either a physical or emotional problem, we need to look at your mind, your body, your emotions, and your spiritual health. And that all sorts of illnesses, anxiety, in particular, is related to a traumatic event that occurred in your life. And it's our inability to process those emotions that then have a knock-on effect on our physicality, can have a knock-on
effect on our spiritual beliefs, it can have a knock-on effect to our mental health, which anxiety obviously has an effect on. And she is firmly of the belief that you don't have to live with anxiety, either. Conventional medicine tends to treat the physical symptoms, ignoring the emotional. Whilst the NHS does
an amazing job, alternative medicine and therapies are often dismissed Yet by combining them both can be extremely powerful. By treating the person holistically it can bring about deeper and longer-lasting healing.
You can listen to this episode as well as many others here - https://love-listen-talk-repeat.libsyn.com/