When I ask people what their childhood was like many respond by saying they had a happy childhood. They remember they were looked after - meaning they were not hungry, and had a warm home and clothes.
But is that really enough? When I ask them what their relationship with their parents was like, they often stop and think about it, especially when I gently probe a little deeper.
You didn’t necessarily get beaten or physically abused. You may have been verbally or emotionally abused. But you may have been ignored, or not receive those cuddles, or reassurances you craved.
It may have been that due to financial situations, both parents had to work long hours, meaning they weren’t always emotionally available to you. We all need to feel safe, secure, and loved. But as I talked about in previous newsletters we may not have felt securely attached.
We don’t pay much attention to those things until we encounter problems in adulthood, and especially in relationships. Often repeating the same negative patterns.
My podcast guest this week, talks about those situations.
#147 - Karolina Christopher - Earlier Relational Trauma -The Hidden Trauma
Karolina Christopher is a trauma-informed integrative psychotherapist. She offers holistic depth-therapy online, using conversation-based work, somatic and creative therapies. Working with adults and adolescents.
What we talked about
Earlier relational trauma is a kind of an invisible trauma very often because it's something that, first of all, it's something people generally haven't heard about it. And if we've experienced it, we generally don't know about it. And it's really about what happens in our early childhood years where our emotional needs weren't met
So everything might, might have been, you know, taken care of, you know, you had a nice house to live in, you had, there was food on the table, you had clean clothes and birthday presents and, you know, even holidays. So it looked like everything was fine, but there could be this, this lack of emotional warmth in sense that the child needs.
You can listen to the podcast Here
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