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When it comes to a problem that you are struggling to bring up with your partner, you may find you keep avoiding talking about it, because you are worried how he may receive it.
Perhaps you have broached the subject in the past and the conversation got really heated, or even ended up in a huge row, or being stonewalled, being told the subject was not up for discussion.
But you don’t feel the problem has been resolved
At least from where you are concerned. So you want to talk about it. It’s bugging you and you don’t feel like you have been acknowledged.
Often in these situations it’s really worth getting out of the house, and having the conversation elsewhere.
Often a really good time is whilst having a leisurely walk together, or on a car journey.
The reason being, that in both situations you are side by side, and not facing each other. It’s less threatening for both of you, and you aren’t going to react to those facial responses that can be triggers sparking a bad reaction. Obviously don't have the conversation when you are in a rush to get somewhere., or you are running late. We all need to choose our moments.
The ‘I’ statement is such an important one. As soon as you say the word, ‘ You’ …………….it feels accusatory, and the other person is likely to feel attacked and react badly – feeling you are blaming them. By saying ‘ I feel………….’ Or ‘ I think…………..’ you are taking away the threat.
If you are struggling to know how to start that conversation, then get in touch - info@wendycapewell.co.uk