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Conflict is inevitable in any long-term romantic relationship, but there is a way of fighting fair. Personal jibes and digs to rile the other person are definitely not one of them.
Neither is contempt, as it's disregard for your partner’s feelings.
This can show up as -
• Talking down to them
• Mocking them
• Using sarcasm
It also includes nonverbal gestures like -
• Eye rolling
• Huffing and puffing
• Making a point of ignoring the other person, like looking at your phone, reading, etc.
Anyone who has teenagers around them is likely to recognise the non-verbal gestures I'm sure!
Not only is it really unkind behaviour, and bad manners, but it’s also coming from a place of superiority, leaving the other person feeling inferior.
A much kinder way of behaving when you feel upset or angry is to take a softer approach and own your feelings. Share how you are feeling, or how your partner leaves you feeling when they use contemptuous behaviours towards you. Be sure you don't retaliate in kind, as it will only lead to further conflict.
I appreciate that emotions can be running high at times of conflict, but it really doesn't help if you fuel the fire by throwing on logs of attack.
Often it's better to walk away until things have calmed down, and you aren't so emotionally charged.
One thing to remember is that this kind of contemptuous type behaviour isn't just confined to romantic relationships. It can show itself in work-related scenarios, or even with friends and family.
U think sometimes those situations can be more difficult to manage. Nevertheless, they still leave us feeling disrespected if we are on the receiving end. If you challenge the person doing it, they are likely to deny it or say you are being too sensitive. If you do challenge it, I always suggest you use the 'I' statement - owning your feelings. We are all entitled to voice our own opinions - as long as they are respectfully!
PODCAST NEWS
The Love~listen~Talk~Repeat podcast with Wendy Capewell
#121 - Self Care Tips for the Perimenopause - Kristeen - Kping Fit
At long last the menopause has burst out of the cupboard, having been only talked about behind closed doors for so many years. It felt such a shameful topic to discuss, and the sad part of that is that it left many women - and men for that matter, not understanding what was really going on in their bodies, and how they could manage symptoms, and take care of themselves better.
So, it was such a breath of fresh air to be able to have Kristeen of KPing Fit as a guest, where she talks about menstruating, perimenopause and menopause in this podcast.
You can listen to it here - https://love-listen-talk-repeat.libsyn.com/
Or wherever you usually listen to your favourite podcasts.
If you have any questions then follow KPingfit. That's how you can find her on Instagram, where she is very active and shares loads more useful information.
Take care,
Wish love,
Wendy