What is cheating?
It can mean different things to different people, but it boils down to the betrayal of trust. I get asked that question many times. Both men and women seem confused and worried about what is ok and what isn’t. If you are in a relationship, then you need to talk about it and decide what that means for you and your relationship. You need to be clear about what is ok and what isn’t.
Because with modern technology the boundaries can so easily become blurred. If you are starting a relationship, then you need to agree on the boundaries at the start. Many a relationship has fallen down because things were assumed and not talked and agreed on early on.
Before the advent of modern technology, mobile phones, and Social Media, life was much simpler and easier to define. Cheating still happened, but it wasn’t as complex is it is now. I just think it's easier to do and hide. Modern technology has changed the way that we communicate with each other, and there are endless ways of communicating as well as actually having a conversation with each other – including -
• Text messaging • Email • WhatsApp • Facebook • Messenger • WeChat • Tumblr • Facetime • Twitter • Snapchat • Instagram • Linkedin
You may be surprised that I added Linkedin, as it's generally seen as a business platform. But I have been propositioned on there many times.
With all these various ways of communicating, you can see how easy it is to connect with a stranger or an old flame, often anonymously or secretly.
Why do people cheat?
Here are some of the reasons, they aren’t excuses, as each of us needs to take responsibility for our actions, and even when things aren’t going well – we have choices!
· Do they feel they aren’t getting all their needs met by one person?
· Is it the thrill of having and maintaining such a huge secret?
· Is it that they have an inability to integrate two conflicting opposite sides to their personality?
· Do they feel they don’t deserve success or happiness and self-sabotage?
· Are they unable to be their true selves with their primary partner, and they create an alternative world enabling them to live out their fantasy – compartmentalizing their lives?
· Are they selfishly holding onto one relationship while starting and maintaining another one for fear of being alone?
What are the warning signs that your partner may be cheating?
If your partner has a sudden interest in their clothes, changes their hairstyle, goes on a diet, and becomes a fitness freak, whereas they were content to be a couch potato? They panic when you pick up their phone or open their laptop. · They walk into another room to take some of their calls. · They delete text messages and makes excuses as to why they have done so. · They aren’t interested in sex with you anymore · You can't get hold of them at times you would expect to · Their behaviour is different around you. For example, he is edgy or angry. · They start paying you more attention than usual – could mean they are feeling guilty · They stay up later than you, spending time on their computer. · They start complaining that you aren’t fun, sexy, attractive or interesting anymore
The Love~Listen~Talk~Repear Podcast with Wendy Capewell
You can listen to it here Alternatively, wherever you listen to your podcasts.
132 - Healing after Betrayal - with Dr.Debi Silber
Dr.Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again,
What we talked about
Betrayal can take many different forms. We can be betrayed by our parents, or family members, friends, partners, and our bodies. Betrayal can affect so many areas of our lives, our health, relationships, our work as it affects our sense of security and trust. Debi goes on to explain her findings and how she helps people move through the different stages in which you can learn to heal and transform their life. Listen in to learn more about her Institute's discoveries and the stages and how to heal.
If you need any help you know where to find me.