Whether or not you are a gardener doesn’t really matter, because I think you will get the gist of it.
A plant needs nutrients for it to not only survive but also to flourish.
• Water • Good rich soil • Sunlight • Tender loving care
If you deprive a plant of these and ignore its needs, not only won't it flourish but it will probably wither and die. If you water a plant spasmodically, when you remember, or say, once a month instead of paying attention to its requirements, it may survive, but it won't be a strong plant, and its blooms are likely to be few.
When you notice it’s not flourishing, chances are you will give it some extra attention, even some feed to encourage and help it regain its strength, and return it to its full glory.
Relationships are no different
A relationship needs nourishment, it needs attention and tender loving care. And just like the plant, if you ignore it, and deprive it of those things it will die from neglect.
I often hear couples whose relationship has been neglected over a period of time and hence in crisis, say they don’t have time for each other. Which is understandable to a degree in this frenetic world.
They think the solution is to go out for a meal together maybe once a month or so.
They plan a holiday together – for next year……
Will your relationship survive under those conditions?
Giving a plant the necessary attention probably takes 5-10 minutes a day to maintain it as a healthy flourishing plant.
MAINTAINING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP CAN TAKE THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME - LITTLE AND OFTEN
The secret isn’t in the amount of time you give it. Little and often is far more important. Mixed together with a good helping of good intention. Here are some suggestions-
• Say ‘ I love you’ with meaning, and looking at your partner. • Give a warm meaningful cuddle • Bring passion into that kiss, rather than a peck on the cheek • Let your partner know you really care by your actions • Thank them for doing things for you • Tell them they have a lovely smile/beautiful eyes/ a sexy bum.
If you aren’t prepared to take those small steps, then don’t be surprised if your relationship dies.
If your relationship isn't working as well as it could, don't ignore the warning signs.
And if you need some help, get in touch. I offer a FREE 30 minute chat - Here
The Love~Listen~Talk~Repeat podcast with Wendy Capewell
133 Louisa Whitney - The 4 C’s of effective communication
Louisa Whitney is a family mediator helping separating couples to create tailor made resolutions
What we talked about
Whilst Louisa and I have a different client base, I work with couples who are together and want to work it out, whilst Louisa works with those who have come to the conclusion that they have hit a brick wall, and she helps them communicate better whilst ending the relationship. We both experience similar situations.
Many couples have got into rut, in a busy and overwhelming world, and listen to react, or reply than listening to understand. By reacting they are likely to be angry or defensive, protecting themselves from what they believe is going to be accusations of some kind or another.
Louisa goes on to explain how she teaches and encourages couples to use the 4 C’s of effective communication:
If you would like to know more, then tune in