THE UNPLEASANT SUBJECT THAT NOONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT
I make no secret of the fact that a number of years ago, I met a guy whom I had reservations about, from the start. But I was lonely, and feeling quite vulnerable at that time. It hadn’t been that long before that I had recovered from breast cancer treatment, including losing one of my breasts, and my remaining daughter was planning on getting married and leaving home.
So, I put aside these reservations. He had issues going back to his childhood, but in my naivety, I didn’t listen to my sensible voice and began a relationship with him.
He even took me to see his GP who assured me that he was ‘a nice chap’. Warning bells!
At the start, he was kind and caring, and very funny. But gradually his behaviour changed and he became controlling and emotionally abusive. He ‘gaslighted’ me. Which left me doubting my own sanity. I became scared, undermined and lacked the little confidence I previously had.
My partner had been physically, mentally and sexually abused as a child. which had left him extremely damaged. I was totally unaware at that time as to the effects it had on him and on our relationship. He didn’t trust the world around him, because those who should have protected and taken care of him, abused him.
So, all his insecurities were focused on me. And the only way he knew how to deal with them to lash out, and I was the closest person to him. He was terrified that I would leave him, cheat on him, or lie. So, he felt that by controlling me, he could make his world safe. But it had the opposite effect.
It Wasn't All His Fault
You may be surprised by that statement. I'm not condoning my partner's abusive behaviour towards me for one moment. No-one has the right to be emotionally abusive to another. My partner had been physically, mentally and sexually abused as a child. which had left him extremely damaged, and unfortunately at that time there wasn’t the right kind of professional help out there to support him. His world wasn't safe, he found it hard to trust - anyone and everyone. When he was out of his comfort zone, he was scared, and so he tried to ensure he controlled as much of his life as possible - and that included me.
The Love~Listen~Talk~Repeat podcast with Wendy Capewell
You can listen to it here
130 -Healing the body following Childhood Sexual Abuse and Trauma
INTRO Michelle Roberton has shared her work with many, for 20 years, specialising in Sexual Trauma & Intimacy as a Tantric educator, Sacred Touch Therapist and counsellor for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
WHAT WE TALK ABOUT
• How her experience of Childhood Sexual abuse affected her relationship with her body • How menopause affects our sexuality • Traumatic events can affect our sense of self, how safe we feel as ourselves and our confidence • How we respond to something that has happened in the world outside • Our relationship with our body and sexuality, and the ongoing journey of healing