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Accept and value each other for who you are

Because we are all unique individuals, with different values, life experiences, attitudes, priorities, dreams, and aspirations, managing a relationship can be quite challenging at times.

You may have much in common, but there are also likely to be differences. It's hard to remember at times that as you each grew up in different family systems you are going to see life differently. Your family would have its own routines, social rules, and to a degree its own language, even if you have the same mother tongue. Those family words and phrases that each family has unique to them.

No- one can cook Sunday dinner like my mum

Whilst that may not be the exact phrase, I'm sure there are other things that you can relate to. Whilst im sure there is no intent on putting your partner down, it can leave them feeling that they can't live up to 'mum'.

Because you have always done things in a particular way, its good to remember that it means your partner's way is wrong. It's just different.

Differences temperament often cause problems in a relationship.

  • One of you may be an extrovert, enjoying lots of people around you, whereas your partner, may prefer smaller gatherings.

  • Perhaps you have a different attitude about money. Perhaps you believe in spending and living for today, but your partner has a much more cautious attitude.

  • One of you may be really tidy, and the other totally the opposite.

I think it important to remember that the differences between each other can be useful and acknowledging them and working together you can make a great team. Each having unique and individual strengths that complement each other.

Building on your own and each other's strengths and differences instead of fighting against them is much more positive.

Talking about them is the best way. Negotiate! I really prefer that word to compromise.

Compromise feels to me that one doesn't get what they want, they are giving in. Whereas negotiating means you each put forward your point of view and then together you find a way that satisfies each of you.

Don't try and change your partner

This is likely to end in disaster. Why try and change someone? If they aren't the way you want them, why get into a relationship with them in the first place? I see so many women especially trying to make their men look the way they want. They choose his clothes, his hairstyle. I hear women talking about training their men.

Firstly they aren't puppets or dolls to be fashioned, in the way you want. and secondly you arent this dog handler or owner.

Treat your partner with respect. By all means if he has an irritating habit talk to him about it, but don't nag. I will end by saying pick your fights wisely. Some things aren't worth it. keep the discussions to those that really matter.

If you need some help and support, email me -

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