The Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others

Updated: Jun 6, 2019


Do you feel as though your life is falling apart?

That you just aren’t good enough, that you're a complete failure in all areas of your life compared to others?


  • Past failed relationships and even your current one isn’t that great

  • A career that you don’t enjoy or fulfils you

  • Unattractive and overweight

  • Children who seem to be the worst behaved in the world


You feel worn out, stressed and anxious and every day is a struggle.


You look around you and everyone else seems to have it all, and all together. they seem so together. They always look immaculate, and so relaxed. Their children are well behaved angels, their homes spotless, like something out of an interior magazine. How do they glide through life so effortlessly, managing their relationship, family, life, kids and career so effortlessly?


OK, lets stop for a moment.


Who are these women you are comparing yourself to? Are they celebrities? People in the public eye? Or are they women you personally know?

Let’s take a reality check here.


Whilst celebrities appear in interviews on TV and in magazines seemingly to have it all, you only have to look below the surface to see that despite the fact they appear to have it all, deep down they are often sad and discontented. Stories of one broken relationship after another, depression, bankruptcy are frequent, because they are continually chasing rainbows. Just because they appear to have all the material trappings deep down they don't have inner contentment and happiness.


The same could be said for your friends who appears to have it all together. Your friend’s life is likely to be very different from yours, and could be a million reasons why they appear to have it all together. Perhaps they have additional help in the home which alleviates the pressures of childcare and household chores.


Social media is great for feeding your sense of failure. People love to post images of the wonderful life they want the world to believe they have. They are hardly likely to post images of the parts of their life they don’t want you to see.


Comparing yourself to others is a fruitless pastime because generally you’re not comparing the same things against each other. You are also comparing snapshots of other lives.

You have no idea what is going on out of sight.


I know of many who whilst appearing to have it all are putting on a brave face. It’s a façade, because she cannot admit to herself let alone others that she isn’t really happy. Her fear is that if that façade cracks so will she. So as long as she keeps up the outer public image it will all be ok. Rather like the fairy story of the Emperor’s New Clothes.


So instead of comparing yourself why not start looking around you and acknowledging all of the good things in your life.


Every single day notice what is good about it, however small - because there will be.


  • A roof over your head

  • A food in your stomach

  • Good health

  • A loving family

  • Good friends

  • People that love and care about you around you

  • A smile from your child

  • A kind word from a loved one


Instead of thinking about the things that have gone wrong remind yourself of the things that have gone right in your day in your life


Remind yourself of your achievements and I'm not talking about running marathons, climbing mountains, but the small achievements you are proud of.


Once you start changing your mindset and looking at the positives in your life your confidence and self-esteem will grow, slowly but surely, which will also reduce your stress and anxieties.


Do you want to change the way you think and behave and start living a life of contentment, confidence and self assurance in your personal or professional life?


Then my VIP programme can help you achieve that. Over the past 14 years I have helped numerous individuals ditch the negative patterns in their lives whether in their personal or professional lives. As a result they create healthier, more positive behaviours and mindsets.


This VIP programme is limited to only a few spaces each month, as each person has my personal attention, and only for those who are committed to making positive changes in their lives. For an initial chat contact me at info@wendycapewell.co.uk

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